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his B-list actress used to be A-list until a few bad career moves and a pesky little cocaine habit. She’s been clean for years but she and her hubby, everyone’s favorite hunk from that cheesy 90s cop show, had a deformed son. Now she’s spending three days a week in therapy sessions and is clearly flirting with me to get additional pain killers to help with the hardship. Thing of it is? It’s working. So next time you see her making the rounds for her charity devoted to raising awareness of her son’s illness, she’s most likely high as a kite.
This up and coming sitcom star needs a break. His last show was supposedly destined to be the next Friends but stalled at the gates. He was just the goofy best friend but he stole the show (for the hot minute it was on.) Now with that buzz he’s trying to rebrand himself as a leading man. Little does he know that from what he’s told me about his inability to connect with women, his father’s admitted homosexual dalliances, and his intermittent problems with impotence, this might be psychologically overwhelming and ultimately crush his ego if this new route doesn’t work out. The good news? I can always up his Lithium.
This article was originally published March 2012