Things You Should Never Say at a Wedding

  1. I slept with the groom
  2. Jeepers, I can't believe you slept with the groom
  3. Stop sleeping with the groom
  4. The groom slept with me
  5. Who's the groom sleeping with tonight?
  6. That groom sure can give good dicking
  7. If the groom's here, who's dicking his bride?
  8. More pie, please.*

*Said while watching the newlyweds consummate the marriage. It takes them out of the moment. Totally fine under normal circumstances.