A classic flower tattoo. Elegance, romance, the duality of life. And it's sweet that Linda got one on her leg because it makes her feel special and she needs that right now.
Read MoreA More Useful College Course Catalogue
Along with amphetamines and opiates, hallucinogens offer a world of whack-ass experiences for the typical college student. Unlike crack or heroin, this will only SORT OF destroy your life and give you flashbacks that’ll really fuck you up when you need to be doing something grown up, like witnessing the birth of your first child or driving.
Read MoreOedipus’ Real Tragic Flaw Was That He’d Never Seen The Wire
What ultimately led to Oedipus’ tragic undoing in Sophocles’ masterpieceOedipus Rex? Was it his hubris? His excessive temper? His blind determination? No. These are simply symptoms of a much greater disease. Oedipus’ real tragic flaw was that he’d never seen David Simon’s groundbreaking HBO series The Wire.
Read MoreSex Advice From An Uncomfortable Guy Who's Afraid Of Sex And Blows It Every Time (Volume 5)
I've been provided a column to answer all of your, ah, your sex questions, which I'm really excited to do.
Read MoreIf College Admissions Were Like Job Listings
A leading private university in the American East Coast region is seeking an entry-level student to execute its four-year undergraduate academic program. Salaries range from negative $65,000 to negative $5,000 a year, depending on experience.
Read MoreA Significant Interview with Bob Odenkirk
The first guest for our series of extremely important and hard-hitting interviews is Bob Odenkirk, author of 'A Load of Hooey.'
Read MoreOn The 7th Day, God Accidentally Slept Through His Alarm and Totally Freaked Out
On the 7th Day, God woke up to the afternoon sun on his face. There’s no way. He couldn’t have. Sure enough, he indeed had. For on the 6th Day, God went hard at the bar to blow off some steam after creating the entire universe. And on the 7th Day, God overslept and freaked out.
Read MoreMY FUCKBOT ROOMMATE!
I am finding it hard to live with my roommate, Fuckbot XXXtreme. My main problem is that he never stops fucking. He fucks at all hours of the day. He fucks at all hours of the night. Every night. He fucks dozens of sexual partners per week, often many at the same time — he has countless penises, vaginas, anuses, mouths, nipples, and various other prongs and orifices for which there are no human equivalents. The fucking is always extremely loud.
Read MoreBlue Armoire For Sale, Not Infested With Scorpions
Blue armoire, near-perfect condition, w/ original lock - $375 (Flatbush Area)
My wife and I are moving and need to pare down our stuff. I inherited this armoire from my great-great-grandfather, who found it during a long journey through India 100 years ago.
Note: This item is NOT infested with scorpion eggs!
Read MoreMy Personal WiFi Terms & Conditions
Dear Library Free WiFi, Thank you for sharing the Terms & Conditions of your use. Before I click “Accept,” I want to let you know that I have a few Terms & Conditions of my own.
Read MoreAn Interview with Aristotle
In 335 B.C., Aristotle wrote Poetics, a landmark work of literary theory. In it, the great philosopher asserted that “spectacle” was the least-important component of a play, ranking far below the work's “morality” and “logic.”
Read MoreDisappointed Yelp Review for Space Camp
Hello, Yelp. This is my first ever review but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t register and warn you of the sham that is Space Camp. If it saves even one person the several thousand dollars and crippling disappointment I experienced, then it’s worth it.
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